98-Year-Old Former OKDHS Woods County Director Recalls Department Early Days

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OKLAHOMA CAPITOL — Poet Oscar Wilde once wrote, “Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.” If true, then Marjorie Hayward’s canvas of life illustrates vivid beauty, simple elegance and courageous love.

Colorful landscapes and thoughtful portraits cover the walls of 98-year-old Hayward’s Alva, Okla., home. Hayward, her husband of 50 years, Jack, and her mother created the paintings. The former Oklahoma Department of Human Services Woods County director said her parents encouraged her love of art as a child by sending her to art classes.

“My parents believed art helped develop character,” said Hayward.

Her grandparents settled in Alva during the Land Run. Her parents built the little yellow house in 1904, three years before both Oklahoma and Hayward were born. Hayward lived in the house until November 2005 when her grandchildren encouraged her to move into a retirement community. Hayward said she missed her backyard where ivies, crepe myrtles and lilies, which had served as a playground for her three children, three granddaughters four great grandsons and three great, great grandchildren. She’d just learned that another great, great was on the way. In her Alva retirement apartment, she asked that a pink crepe myrtle and two bushes be planted outside the picture window that also serves as a backdrop for rows of blue, red and yellow Mexican glass.

Hayward’s father, a chemistry professor at what’s now Northwestern Oklahoma State University, not only encouraged Hayward to attend college, but required it. There she met her husband, a young, dreamy artist. With three children, her husband’s several failed jobs and World War II, Hayward took it upon herself to save her family.

“My job was truly a gift from heaven,” said Hayward. “It was 1944, and I had to get a job. I was frantic. I’d never worked before. I had a friend who said the ‘welfare department paid $110 a month.’ That was more than most jobs paid. It’s funny that when you tell people that – that the Department paid $110 a month – and that it supported us, it’s hard to believe when so many people have so much trouble making ends meet today.”

Hayward served as a caseworker for three programs – Aid to Dependent Children, Aid to the Blind and Aid to the Aged.

“We were like a big family – we had the county director, who was also a friend, three caseworkers and a stenographer. We all supported each other. We just coped the best we could.”

With child care provided by her parents and a Plymouth she called the “Green Bomb,” Hayward visited the tiny towns of northwestern Oklahoma. Located in the basement of the former hospital, the county office featured stain-colored walls, bats and no air conditioning or window fans.

The former caseworker remembers enjoying meeting and helping people, but recalled several instances of questioning her career path.

A mother introduced Hayward to her son, who walked with a peg, as he’d had part of his leg removed. She said the visit was fine, even enjoyable, until the mother invited Hayward to see her fine crop of preserves in the cellar. As Hayward neared the cellar doors and started down, all she could hear was the “thump, thump, thump” of the man’s peg leg.

“I said to myself, ‘I just can’t go down there.’ She just wanted to show me what she was doing to help the family, but I just couldn’t get the sound out of my mind.”

Another time, Hayward said she was sent over to interview a man at a hotel – a hotel where a lovely, fancy-dressed woman sat out front and allowed men to enter in the evenings.

“I was so scared of her, but I did it. I did do a lot of things I didn’t think I could do. The rumor was the lady had attended Vassar. She later became a pretty good friend.”

After the war, Hayward became county director and still carried a small caseload because she enjoyed visiting. The county office moved to the county courthouse, which frustrated her more than the lack of aesthetics of the previous location. Clients, people who were blind and aged and mothers with children, had to climb the stairs.

Hayward said the workers had little direction other than “the manual” to do their jobs, “which could be interpreted many different ways.” They had to wear dresses. When they attended meetings, they had to wear hats and gloves. When staff from the State Office visited, the county staff marveled at how “gussied up” the women from the big city were.

Today, the tiny woman still takes great care with her appearance, enjoying jewelry and shoes.

While many have sung the praises of long-time human services director Lloyd E. Rader, Hayward wasn’t a fan. She reluctantly talked about him and his leadership. She said he might have visited the county office once in all the time she worked there.

“His idea was money, money, money and he was all about how to get money in here, but at what cost to the clients. He would shut off services. The Feds weren’t social workers.”

Hayward retired at age 65 in 1972 to care for Jack who battled emphysema. They spent half the year in Alva and the other half in Mesa, Ariz. Through life’s brush strokes of joy and despair, including the death of her 13-year-old daughter, Patricia, from a brain tumor, Hayward centered herself through art, as well as in her faith as a Christian Scientist.

“I think so many blessings came into my life as a result of my faith.”

A world traveler, last year Hayward accompanied her granddaughter, Jennifer Leu, adult protective services specialist IV, Nowata County, to Tybee Island, Ga., to visit Leu’s sister.

“One of her lifelong dreams was accomplished,” said Leu, “… a ride on a big, black Harley with a gentleman she approached in a parking lot. He asked her if she wanted a ride, and by golly, she hopped on.”

Hayward outlived all three of her children and talks long and often about “Nippy,” referring to Leu by her childhood nickname.

“Grammie has always lived her faith and shared her love of life with family and friends,” said Leu. “Much of her life has been devoted to helping others. She has approached every challenge that has come her way with courage and dignity and has set an example for all of us who know and love her. She is an inspiration to all of us.”

In 98 years of splashing colors on life’s canvas, any regrets?

“You always wish you’d done things differently,” said Hayward. “I wish I’d been more thoughtful, more understanding. I wish I’d asked more questions.

“So many things in my life have worked out so lovely, though.”

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